It ain’t easy being Indian... Travesty of justice in Rezberry

by Ricey Wild
News From Indian Country

Following is a true account of the latest travesty of justice served in Rezberry.

The last echoes of the judge’s gavel echoed in the courtroom in the sudden hush. Breathes were drawn and the crowded courtroom attendants leaned forward expectantly as the defendant took the stand.

Honor, I do,” she said evenly, “I’m guilty of being Indian.”


Yeah. Last January I wrote a column about the confrontation that I got into with the person across the road. She threatened me, my son, my Mother and when she went after my dog, Anubis? Well, let me just say this: my family and I can defend ourselves, but a poor ole innocent rez dog? Sheez. This person also happens to be highly pink.

Her back was straight, her eyes steady facing the judge who asked if she knew and understood the charges against her. “Yes, your

I left you all wondering what heinous crime could Mz Wild (me) have possibly committed given my previously immaculate reputation and polite and pristine public persona. (Or something close to it.) I didn’t have a record, until now.

See, after all the hullabaloo of that incident I was not given any ticket or even a hint of a threat of one, I went home and I thought that was it. Yeah right! This past May I walked into the Rezberry Cop Shop to bring them some yummy doughnuts warm from the oven when I was asked if my name was my name, Ricey Wild. I agreed that indeed it was and became suspicious by the officer’s odd demeanor.

I was informed that there was a warrant out for my arrest. “FOR WHAT!???” I asked, being entirely blown away by that statement. “For not attending court” sez one officer. “Court for what?” I looked around the reception area for hidden cameras, convinced that I was being punk’d because I know I am a model citizen.

My life is an open book of dulldom. Yet this kind of sh˜ does happen to me and I don’t make it up. I’m rolling my eyes right now. Sheesh. So there I am, about to be arrested and fingerprinted and searched and gawd knows what. “Are you going to take me to jail?” I asked, and the cop was like, well, yeah! Great. Just great. My Mom was waiting for me at her apt., already crabby at my tardiness.

So I called my Mumz from the Cop Shop and told her I was really busy right now and would be a wee bit late because I was being arrested. She scoffed and said something to the effect of “yeah right” and then hollered at me to get over there, NOW! because she was all ready to shop. Finally I convinced her that this was the real deal. Mad? Omigawd.

My bail was $2,000.00, which I could pay 10 percent of and then had to be darn sure to show up for court. Between my Gramma Rose, my Mumz and me I was able to come up with the cash. That was my shopping money, my gas, my all I had. Still unsure of how all this came about I found out this. I was the only one charged in the incident. The pink folks who occupy this reservation must sleep very well at night knowing that the Rezberry Police force are active and busy enforcing their rights.

Yup. Allegedly I was mailed a letter to show up in court and answer for my crime, and when I did not do so, a warrant was issued for my arrest. Silly me, here I was all clueless, unaware that I was but one step ahead of the law. I never got the letter, or even a copy of it when I requested one. Yup. Being quite pathetically poor, I was able to get Indian legal aid, and on my court date she said the prosecuting attorney and she had worked out a deal. My record would be dismissed in 6 months should there be no same or similar crimes committed by me and my record, as such, would be erased. I had to pay $50 bucks in court costs but thankfully did not have to do any hard time. Ay!

So now you know. This is the first blemish to mar my unsullied life. So far anyways, I know I will be a marked woman once this column comes out. But I ain’t got nothing to hide. I am a law abiding citizen and always have been. So this really sucks.

I am a grandmother now, my cat Nefernefernefer had got out of the house and went and got herself knocked up. I scolded her, saying what was she thinking? Now she’s a teenage mother to ONE KITTEN. Bless her heart she only had the one kitten. His name is Thoth in our Egyptian Mythology tradition. He has a black nose too, so he can stay. Sadly, when I was but a young girl, I said I would be a “cat lady.” Why could I not have said I would be a billionaire?

It sure ain’t easy being Indian, ever, but I do not want to be anyone else, no matter the privileges their skin tone confers on them.

(Hey Ms. Quade! I am your fan! And Keith Defoe sez to say “hi.”)