It ain’t easy being Indian… (June 2015)

By Ricey Wild
News From Indian Country

Last month me and the ‘gals’ had a funktastic night out at a George Clinton concert at the famous Cabooze in the Big City. I insisted that for one night we refer to each other as D-Funk, M-Funk and K-Funk because I’m weird like that. Yah George, Bootsie and Parliament and Funkadelic were awesome as usual but oddly looked very young… as we three Funk Sisters agreed. Or were we just feeling the years in our bones? I know I did but I managed to wobble in time to the familiar beats and not fall down. I wore my sunglasses. You got to have your sunglasses……so you can feel cool….
It was a gorgeous night in the Big City where we three used to live but we now reside in small rural towns so it was a huge treat for me to be there. I felt happy just seeing the skyline and jostling for stage view with people who weren’t my cousins. Ya’ll Indians know what I mean; it’s why before snagging up we recite our lineage as we know it before applying any hickeys. So I was feeling da Funk and partying as hard as my old carcass could handle. When Bootsie came my way I reached for his hand and licked the back of it. He just laughed. That man is still fine!!!! M’wah!!!!
So it was a Funktastic night out; no one needed to get bailed out and M-Funk was still with us and not aboard the band’s bus. We ended the night at a place the locals call “The Smelly Deli”. The late night boogitus emissions sleeping at the hotel proved that to be an apt name and the next day I insisted going to Popeye’s Chicken so I could bring some home, I gotta have red beans n rice….
The night before the show I got to hang out with my lovely friend Rachel sitting on her porch and watching humanity walk by. Rachel burned sage and sweet grass so the entire neighborhood was smudged.  She and my X Dan live in my old ‘hood’ so it was like going home for me; Rachel and I talked like we just saw each other and I so love and appreciate having good friends I share that with. Plus she and Dan spoiled me with the TLC I needed and my Dear Daniel gave me $40 bucks for drinks for us gals!!! It was money well spent my love!!! Miigwech!
We Gals had so much fun we decided to get together this month and go camping. (Whaaaaaaaat?? Camping? Seriously???!!! MOI!!!????) I’m going because I really love the Gal’s company but I am NOT a very good camper and I’m the only Indian in the bunch. I know I am supposed to have been born with outdoor skills and suchlike but I am woefully inadequate to say the least. Plus, I have had previous awful camping experiences like when my maw, her friend, my man and me left Minneapolis at 6pm to LCO Powwow in Wisconsin and arrived at 4am in a downpour with a tent but no poles, no gas or money and flat tires from running over a wire fence. We had bought bologna and bread for the trip but that was almost gone… So yooz see how I have outdoor anxiety dontcha??? I do have more frightful stories but you get my drift. Well any rate this oughta be an interesting event. I hope I see some UFO’s.
In last month’s column I should have included the alleged reason for my unlawful capture by the Fuzz. Two women had been in the taxi immediately before me and one dropped her wallet with credit cards in it. The next morning there were apparently some charges on them so of course it was me who did it. Later the Sheriff told me it was the woman’s own charges that had not yet gone through. Yes and I’m still pissed it happened.
This happened almost 18 years ago but still haunts my mind. It symbolizes for me how money trumps everything in this sick culture. There have been some awful natural disasters recently and people died but the national news stations focus on the monetary losses and what it will cost to recover. The dead are referred to as ‘body’s’ and very little screen time is given to the great human losses to families whose loved one’s died in the storms.
Americans, this is your great country. Greedy Monsters have taken over and if we who still care about actual freedom better get together and dismantle Citizens United. Good name, evil purpose. Vote Bernie Sanders Yo!!!
Have a wonderful summer full of powwow-ing (Ay!) and stay snagalicious!!!

Support or NFIC. Thank YOU!!

Subscribe to NFIC Hard Copy