It ain’t easy being Indian... I think I have a hollywood yell show in me

By Ricey Wild
News From Indian Country 2-09

I recently joined “E-SNAG” dot com. I found it on the website of News From Indian Country, a paper that just happens to pick up my column, “It ain’t easy being Indian.... etcetera.”

Well they don’t need my plug, however I can honestly attest that the organization has excellent taste in content and writers, not to mention talent and reliability.

Okay fine then, there I was, totally bored, it’s late and I adamantly refuse to do anything like housework if I can possibly help it. So I signed up, my first time doing such a thing, and I answered the questions openly, blatantly and truthfully, cuz after all, what have I got to lose?

Right then. A day or so later, I got an email from E-SNAG letting me know I had some possible matches, like 7 out of a 72,436,001 Indian guys registered. Hmm. I think that says more about them than it does about me! (And you call yourselves Braves, huh?) Well, of all them hot frybreaders I got one “wink” so far! I didn’t open the email until I had my face on and my hair did. You know how most menz are, so sweet and shallow at the same time! Anyhow...

I already told yooz I am being upfront, and therefore vulnerable. I never said I ain’t courageous. I confessed on my profile that I am a woman of a certain age, which of course means no one is certain but me Mumz, and I paid her off.     

I have three (3!) cats so far and one very adorable and needy foofy pup. There are stuffed animals in my closet that are well loved and somehow managed to hang in there with me in my travels and travails, and there is this: I have a very loud voice, nationally, figuratively and literally, so be prepared.            

I also swear, drink and put up a damn good fight, which I always win. What kinda MAN dosen’t love that? I just can’t believe I’m single...

Any woman can get a man. I witnessed this over and over in my female family and friends who are totally desperate, pathetic and so willing to be bought. Moi? I don’t want just “any” man, I never  have and I will not settle. Call me picky. Whatever. I would rather end my days happily alone than being miserable with someone else.


Be glad, be very glad... Without any narcissism whatsoever, I am one of those people whom you cannot forget easily, no matter how hard you try. G’wan! I dare you. Let me know how that goes.

On January 20, 2009, our new President of the United States of America, Barack Hussein Obama, was inaguarated in Washington, D.C., just in case you were not aware. ; )

Maybe you were stuck head down in a deep well, with ear plugs, gagged and blindfolded? Naw! I’m sure you at least heard about it the next day... when someone to whom you owe money to figured out you were missing!


It took a few clicks, then I got the words I fell in love with, an unexpected joy at the end of a very emotional presidential inagauration ceremony:

“Lord, in the memory of all the saints who from their labors rest, and in the joy of a new beginning, we ask you to help us work for that day when black will not be asked to give back, when brown can stick around, when yellow will be mellow, when the red man can get ahead, man, and when white will embrace what is right. Let all those who do justice and love mercy say Amen. Say Amen. And Amen.”

Thus said 87-year-old Joseph Lowery, civil rights activist, calling upon Big Bill Broonzy’s lyrics, “Black, Brown and White.” Let me add the euphemism “Red Man” to that. Thats the first time for me that “red man” was not offensive.

I took it to mean that in the spirit it was said, we are in this together, so lets get on with it. We are the People, WE ARE THE POWER.

For the first time in my life, I know it to be true. Did I cry? Celebrate? Oh yes I did, but not just cuz a black guy won the presidency of the most important office in the world no, it was because we put him there. Legally and without doubt or deception.

And I praised those who sang, “nah-nah-nah! Hey heya! Goodbye!” when Former (thanks be to the gods) prez Bush left D.C. He sent our best and youngest to war to die and to defend our free speech. Take it like a man, Bush. I was never so happy to see anybody’s buttside.

I received some letters from fans. Oh I know! I mean MY fans. Doug from Cheboygan, MI, and Jo O, and some Pima named Earlton C.L. Yooz made my day, and probably my life. I gotz so much more to say to yooz, but I think I’m running short on space for this column.

It shore ain’t easy being Indian, a single Indian, but Happy Valentines! At least you only got yerself to argue with and you can always be the winner! Hugs and Kisses, butter and frybread....

Love, Ricey Wild

ps: Tune in next month when I reveal how to endure 10 seconds of humilation at a groovy retail discount store for 30% off your new clearance shirt. I think I got a yell show in me. Hollywood? Call me, I’m on E-Snag.